I think most people would agree work—and life, in general—would be a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to deal with difficult people, but that’s not the world we live in.
Honestly, if there was never any friction, things would be boring.
Growth comes from challenge, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating when you’re dealing with a colleague, boss, or client who makes everything harder than it needs to be.
One person’s behavior can derail your entire workday, your focus, your peace of mind, and even your confidence if you’re not careful.
It’s not just annoying; sometimes, it can be mind-consuming.
Unfortunately, no a majority of business professionals aren’t exempt from this experience. So the question isn’t if you’ll deal with difficult people, but how you’ll navigate it when you do.
How do you not just get by—but succeed, influence change, and stand out without losing your mind (or your job) in the process?
It starts here. Acknowledge that you can’t control them, but you can control how you show up, engage, and respond.
Let’s break it down.
When Difficult People Push You to Your Limits
Dealing with difficult people can test every ounce of your patience and professionalism. It’s maddening, and the questions start swirling:
- “Why are they like this?”
- “Is it me?”
- “Is this just how work is supposed to feel?”
- “Will things ever change?”
But the thing is, you’re not here to change them. You can’t. You’re here to do you—to figure out how to protect your peace, manage your energy, get your work done, and grow in the process.
That starts with clarity, strategy, and the recognition that this isn’t just about them.
This Isn’t Just About Them
Yes, you’ve got the bulldozers, the ghosts, the chaos creators, and the underminers.
But when you put your focus back on yourself, instead of them, the work and the frustration begin to shift. Now, it’s about:
- Managing your reactions.
- Advocating for yourself.
- Responding with diplomacy and intention, not just reacting from impulse.
Oftentimes, the truth of the matter is these people might not be bad. They might be having a bad day (if it’s an occasional thing) or they truly lack the tools or self-awareness to communicate better (if it happens more frequently).
Meet the Difficult Personalities and Strategies to Work with Them
1. Say hello to the bulldozer.
- The challenge: They dominate conversations, interrupt constantly, and bulldoze over everyone else’s ideas.
- What’s behind it: Bulldozers often feel they need to “own the room” to prove their expertise or stay in control.
- Unhelpful reaction(s): Rolling your eyes or trying to interrupt them back.
- What to try instead: Acknowledge their energy before redirecting the conversation. Instead of shutting them down outright, guide the conversation back to collaboration.
- Example: “Jamie, I appreciate your enthusiasm on this. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought into it. Let’s hear from the team now to see how we can build on your ideas.”
- Why it works: Validating their effort lowers their defenses, and redirecting the conversation subtly shifts the dynamic.
2. Say hello to the ghost.
- The challenge: They disappear when things get tough but reappear to claim credit.
- What’s behind it: Ghosts often feel overwhelmed or unsure of their role, so they retreat instead of engaging.
- Unhelpful reaction(s): Calling them out publicly for disappearing.
- What to try instead: Approach them privately with curiosity and care.
- Example: “Taylor, I’ve noticed that during crunch times, I don’t always see you as involved. Can you help me understand what’s going on? Is there something blocking you or making it harder to contribute?”
- Why it works: You’re signaling curiosity instead of judgment, which opens the door for a productive conversation rather than defensiveness.
3. Say hello to the chaos creator.
- The challenge: They constantly shift priorities, leaving the team scrambling and uncertain.
- What’s behind it: Chaos creators aren’t trying to confuse people. They’re just juggling so many ideas that they struggle to prioritize.
- Unhelpful reaction(s): Screaming internally, “Pick a lane already!”
- What to try instead:Ground them with clarifying questions.
- Example: “Jordan, there’s a lot in play here. Can you help me understand what’s most urgent so we can align on priorities?”
- Why it works: Slowing things down forces them to articulate what’s critical, making it easier for everyone to align.
4. Say hello to the underminer.
- The challenge: They make backhanded comments, quietly question your authority, or try to take credit for your work.
- What’s behind it: Underminers often act out of insecurity or a desire to elevate themselves.
- Unhelpful reaction(s): Calling them out aggressively in front of the team.
- What to try instead:Document the behavior and address it calmly, one-on-one.
- Example: “Sydney, in our last meeting, I noticed you mentioned the deliverables from my team without specifying our contributions. I’d love to ensure we’re giving credit where it’s due. Let’s align on how we’ll share updates moving forward.”
- Why it works: This approach eliminates plausible deniability and sets a clear boundary without escalating the conflict.
When There’s Accountability or Support
If you’re lucky enough to work in an organization that values accountability, many of these strategies can lead to positive change. So in cases like this, you might feel safer to:
- Communicate directly. You use clear, neutral language to address issues one-on-one.
- Speak up. You clearly outline what you need to work effectively.
- Seek allies. You build relationships with colleagues who recognize the same issues. This can create collective leverage for change.
In supportive environments, these conversations are more likely to result in real shifts, whether from the individual or through HR and leadership intervention.
When There’s No Accountability or Support
However, if the culture tolerates—or even enables—bad behavior, then that requires a different strategy.
This is where things get tricky. In environments with little accountability, your focus needs to shift from trying to fix the system to protecting your energy and strategically planning your next move.
Here’s how:
- Set supportive boundaries. Limit how much of your emotional or mental energy you give to the situation. For example, stick to your role’s scope and avoid taking on extra emotional labor to “fix” what’s broken.
- Detach where you can. Practice emotional distancing. Remind yourself that this isn’t about you but about the flaws in the system.
- Find outlets outside of work. Whether through friends, family, or hobbies, find spaces that replenish your energy and pour back into you.
- Reframe the experience. Use the situation as a learning opportunity to refine your skills in self-advocacy, resilience, and managing interpersonal dynamics.
- Document everything. Keep detailed records of toxic incidents to protect yourself if the behavior escalates.
- Plan your exit. If the environment is truly harmful, begin preparing for your next opportunity—even if leaving isn’t immediate.
The Life Maximizer Approach: Skills Over Drama
At Life Maximizer, my mission isn’t to turn toxic workplaces into utopias. Instead, it’s about helping thoughtful, intentional professionals like you:
- Navigate immediate challenges with more ease and without losing yourself or your mind.
- Design personalized frameworks, learn tools and strategies, and integrate practices that are supportive and can carry forward anytime in your career.
- Decide, with clarity and confidence, whether to stay or move on.
- Feel more comfortable and competent when it comes to speaking up and advocating for yourself. (Check out my blog post, Why I Teach Intentional Leadership: Fewer Doormats, Fewer Assholes.)
Unfortunately, dealing with difficult people and navigating tough work environments is usually a messy process. So, this isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. You don’t need to solve every dynamic overnight. Start small.
- Reflect on the dynamic that’s draining you most.
- Identify one small shift you can make.
- Test it. Learn from it. Adjust.
Every step you take builds your confidence, competence, and clarity, not just in how you work, but in who you’re becoming as a manager, a leader, or a thoughtful business professional.
Now It’s Your Turn
What’s the most stressful workplace dynamic or working relationship you’d love to shift right now—even just a little?
If you’re tired of ruminating or navigating it without support, drop a comment or send me a message.
Let’s figure out how you can pivot, better advocate for yourself, protect your peace, and keep building the career you want with more peace and less frustration.
Look, no workplace is perfect, but you don’t have to sacrifice yourself to make it work.
Don’t want to wait any longer? Click here to schedule your Maximizer Discovery Call.
About Donell Hill (aka “Donnie”) and Life Maximizer
Donell Hill (“Donnie”) is the Founder and CEO of Life Maximizer, a coaching and consulting company dedicated to helping leaders and organizations create meaningful impact while prioritizing well-being and sustainability. Combining over 15 years of experience with a trauma-informed approach, Donnie works with executives, business owners, and rising leaders to develop clarity, resilience, and authentic leadership practices.
Through workshops, coaching, and tailored strategies, Donnie equips his clients with the skills, insights, and practices to lead with confidence, communicate effectively, and cultivate lasting fulfillment in their careers and lives. Life Maximizer has partnered with leaders from companies like Atlassian, Grammarly, Stripe, Instacart, and UCSF to foster cultures of care, trust, and excellence.
Donnie’s mission is simple yet powerful: to see leaders joyfully succeed— to see them well-rested, well-paid, and deeply appreciated—not just for their productivity, but for their humanity.