Huh?
You’re probably thinking, “What the heck are you talking about?! Great opportunity? This feels horrible!”
Let’s face it. You’re never going to always agree with what your colleagues say and vice versa. However, as a leader — whether that be in your organization, your community or your home — it is important to acknowledge (and respect) the other person’s opinion and point of view.To be quite honest, we all need people around us who don’t believe what we believe or have a different perspective because that provides more context and allows us to grow and expand the way we look at problems in the world.
Because we are social beings, we thrive on relationships. But sometimes, we relate to people based on outdated information, beliefs, past experiences, our upbringing, our own communication patterns, and sometimes just plain, old misperceptions. And unfortunately, that (way of being) comes at a cost…usually productivity, performance and ultimately, profitability.
However, there is a way to create a safe space for you and your colleagues (and/or loved ones) to communicate clearly, compassionately and authentically.
After a while, constant miscommunication and conflict become exhausting. You get tired of rehashing the same stories and problems over and over again. So eventually, you become apathetic and sit quietly while the tension and frustration continue to build. However, the more you sit in your own festering, the more difficult it becomes to not say anything, but you don’t know how to bring it up without it upsetting someone.
So what do you do?
Well, the fact of the matter is that it’s all about the action you take AND the intention with which you make it.
As the leader within your organization, your community (or your family), part of your job is to acknowledge when something doesn’t feel good or isn’t working the way you had hoped…especially when things are uncomfortable.
A number of things are going to happen. You’re going to:
- Ease the tension between you and your colleagues;
- Have an opportunity to genuinely connect with the person you love and care about and what this whole experience has been like for them.
- Be able to communicate clearly and authentically (even if it uncomfortable)
- Consciously create an environment where people can express themselves without fear of judgment or resentment;
- Experience a greater confidence and presence as a leader.
I know this isn’t always the most comfortable road to take. ( I know because I have to practice what I preach every day.)
But after a while, it becomes easier, and you begin to transform yourself and your organization.
Conflict or miscommunication can be a pivot point – a point from which you can deepen your connection with the other person, communicate more openly and honestly and create a relationship that is filled with respect. As a result, you will begin to see changes in productivity, performance and ultimately, profitability.
So how do you begin to maximize your communication?
One of keys to creating a culture and an environment where people thrive is raising your awareness:
What type of communicator are you?
How do you respond to conflict? (Do you run the other way? Do you brace yourself and prepare for war? Do you think through both sides and identify and compare the wants and needs of each person?)
When do you deal with it? (Right then and there? Never…Instead you let it fester and build up over a period of time? Or is it something you’ll get back to?)
Identifying these three pieces are critical when you want to maximize your ability to communicate effectively and be seen as the incredible leader that you are. Once you have the awareness, that’s when the real work can begin to step into your next best level. Your saboteurs are no longer lurking in the dark.
They waste time and energy can be painful and quite frankly, they make life (and work) much harder than they need to be. Unnecessary tension and frustration fester, which not only affects your productivity and well-being, but also, creates an environment with low morale and….
As the great Maya Angelou said,
“When you know better, you do better.”
So where can you begin to upgrade your communication and what will be the impact on you and your relationship with that person?
Resolve to follow through on what you know is right in order to to convert conflict into opportunity.
© 2015 Donell Hill
About Donell Hill
Donell (“Donnie”) Hill believes that people are here on Earth to thrive and live a joyful life despite any circumstances that life brings them. He combines his life lessons until now with his Stanford University education, experiences as a Certified Cancer Journey Coach and Peer Health Educator, as a NASM Certified Personal Trainer and a professional actor to help mission-driven leaders maximize their impact and create a legacy that elevates the quality of life and well-being of all those they serve. After all, our collective future depends on your joy and your willingness to share it with others. See www.TheLifeMaximizer.com for more.