Appreciate Your Way To Positive Self-Talk

Kudos to you.

You might not hear it very often, but it takes a lot of courage to lead, to be a pioneer, to step outside of your comfort zone or to go against what is expected of you or what you were taught. It can be both confronting and confusing because on one hand, your biological / survival instincts were designed to keep you safe and to help you fit in. On the other hand, your heart and soul’s desires know that you were put here on Earth to uniquely stand out and share your legacy — who you ARE —  with the world.

So it is only natural that as you live and consciously create from your leading-edge that you would question yourself, your abilities and whether or not you’re doing the right thing for yourself, those you love and those you’re here to help.

Because of this, clients inevitably ask me the same question over and over again…

“Donnie, how do I stop the negative self-talk?”

When you’re doing something new or different from everyone else, it’s easy to get sucked into the comparison game.

“What am I doing?”

“Am I ________enough?” (You fill in the blank with your word of choice.)

“Why is it taking me so long when others are getting results and having success right now?”

And all of these undermining questions and the self-doubt only drives you nuts!

So here’s my simple solution (not to be confused with being easy)…Embrace it. Celebrate it. Enjoy it. Thank it. Appreciate it…Then talk back! ;+)

When those gremlins kick in, think of it as your personal pivot — or what I call your Maximization — point. It is your invitation for more personal clarity, alignment, acknowledgment and appreciation. Not to mention, there’s no benefit of pushing against it. I’ve learned this the hard way. Trying to stop the negative self-talk is a futile endeavor it that only makes you more frustrated and is just frickin’ exhausting!

It has just become a habit — an unconscious practice that you’ve taken on over the years. And now that you have more awareness, guess what? You get to make the powerful decision of practicing something new. (And regardless of what you’re doing, EVERYTHING is a practice, which means it will only get easier when you give it your time, energy and focus.)

You didn’t just all of sudden start beating yourself, doubting yourself or feeling like you weren’t good enough, smart enough, capable enough or whatever other “not enough” belief you have rolling around in your head. Most likely, some well-intentioned parent, teacher or authority figure said something to you at one of your most excited, yet vulnerable moments that made you second guess yourself and your ability.

Over time, the self-doubt and questioning became a habit.  But guess what? The only reason they LEARNED to do it to you was because someone else LEARNED to do it to them. So just think about it…YOU get to break the pattern!!

And here’s a question I invite you to take some time to think about for yourself…

How will practicing this new habit of self-acknowledgment and self-appreciation maximize your impact as leader, influence and inspire those around you and make a bigger difference for those you serve?

You ARE your legacy, and as a mission-driven leader who wants to make everything in your life count and elevate and maximize the potential, quality of life and well-being of those you lead, you always have countless opportunities to change somebody’s world for the better — starting with your own.

So guess what? It’s time to do something different. It’s time to practice forming a new habit that promotes your personal flourishing so that it inspires and spreads to everyone you meet!

So the next time you feel the negative self-talk kicking in, thank it, appreciate it and use it as an opportunity to take 10-minutes out of your day to acknowledge and write down the list of:

• The many courageous steps you’ve taken to create a better life and experience for yourself, those you love and those you serve (even if others don’t understand it)
• The qualities you demonstrate (or are demonstrating more of) in your role as a leader, and
• The legacy you’re creating (and living) so that those around you and those to come can flourish and benefit from who you ARE as a human being.

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